As you get older you will realize that it’s not about what you look like or what you own that matters, it’s about the person you have become.
When you make a commitment, you build hope and when you keep it, you build trust.
Remona
Assertiveness–stand up for yourself
The key to assertiveness is being polite, direct, clear and non-attacking. It means standing up for your rights, feelings, beliefs and needs while also respecting those of the other person. This is different from aggression, meanness or being pushy.
Assertiveness isn’t about you being right and everyone else being wrong. Holding your ground “is about respecting yourself enough to make your ideas heard while also respecting the person you’re talking to.”
Assertiveness is a respectful form of communication that provides another person with a clear and an unambiguous message about where you stand.
Posture also plays a very important role when you want to be assertive – A straight posture, eye contact, speaking neither too softly nor too loud, feelings kept calm and an air of confidence even if you might not feel it inside, sends the right signals.
Effective assertion statements should be quite short and as clear as possible.
Take time to learn the ways that work well for you and try and practice different scenarios. Perhaps role-play with a friend or by yourself in front of a mirror. Look at situations where you do (or did) not stand up for yourself and formulate an assertion statement you could have used. Make sure you are familiar with standing your ground when your boundaries are violated!
Discernment is the first step in assertiveness. Don’t engage in a confrontation when you are hungry – for food, or deprived of sleep or in a need for approval. “Do a self-check of where you are emotionally because if you’re feeling particularly down or bad, it could cloud your ability to respond well to the other person.”
Making calm focused breathing a habit throughout the day — every day gives you capacity to absorb any blows that come your way.
Speak clearly. In a heated moment, your throat may tighten or tongue feel thick. First, breathe, as noted above, and then remember that you don’t need to say much. “You just need to say what you feel needs to be said. Take a deep breath and get the words out as clearly as you can.
If someone comes at you with strong emotion, surprise them by agreeing, even if they are criticizing you. You disarm the other person with your agreement, giving them less ammunition to hurt you emotionally and establishing your strength. Once the temperature falls a bit, you can address whatever real issues are at play.
With practice, you will come to know that your assertiveness is grounded in confidence, accuracy, and respect.
Health Tips….
Fenugreek ( Methi / Vendhayam / Menthulu) is an annual herb, however, the leaves can be grown throughout the year. Just smear the seeds on the soil and sprinkle water on them. Within a week you will have lush green fenugreek herb ready to be eaten as a salad.
It contains protein, carbohydrates, calcium, phosphorous iron, carotene, thiamine, riboflavin and niacin. There are several alkaloids found in fenugreek, which are beneficially converted in the body to work as anti-diabetic and anti-rheumatic agents.
Regular consumption of fenugreek in the form of sprouts or salads of the leaves would keep the whole system healthy and thoroughly clean. It has properties that heal ulcers of the mouth, throat, stomach, and the intestines.
Fenugreek helps cleanse the body of its various congested toxins. You can consume fenugreek seeds by soaking a teaspoon of them overnight in water. In the morning eat the softened fenugreek and drink the water.
The seeds can be powdered and a teaspoon of powder can be mixed with curd or yoghurt and taken. Fenugreek seeds could also be sprouted and eaten, fresh and raw along with salads. The leaves can also be eaten fresh in salads. You may consume the seeds or the leaves in any way you wish and you will benefit.
Thought for the week….
When you are up in life, your friends get to know who you are. But when you are down in life, you get to know who your friends truly are.
It takes around two years to learn to speak. But it takes a lifetime to learn what NOT to speak.
Quality time between partners….
- Offer your undivided attention to each other.
- Some relationships “think they are spending time together when, in reality, they are only living in close proximity”
- Quality conversation is a necessity
- Quality dialog is when “two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, and uninterrupted context”
- Quality activities may include anything in which one or both of you have an interest. The emphasis is not on what you are doing but on why you are doing it.