Self Improvement

A continuation of my previous post…..

A Day-24 hours-1440 minutes

Have you noticed that there are two types of people, one who has all the time in the world and another one who is always busy? This is true regardless of their position, their workload, and commitments, etc. This is their way of life. You will come across some running multi-crore empires having plenty of time to spend with their family and are able to pursue the things that they are passionate about in life. Whereas you might also come across someone who works night and day for weeks to complete some tasks without having any time off for family or self. Why do we have these contrasting situations?

Well, Time Management involves many things and, if done properly, can result in dramatic workload reduction. Let us look at a few of the techniques of Time Management.

80/20 versus 20/80 :

For most projects or tasks, 80 percent of the work gets done in the last 20 percent of the time. Few real-life examples are, some of us to tend to rush with our breakfast in order not to miss the bus or train, students tend to do last-minute, late-night studies for exam preparations.

This happens since most of us tend to relax at the beginning of a task or activity as we see plenty of time ahead. As the deadline approaches, we tend to work harder, and if everything goes well, we complete the task. Unfortunately, if something wrong happens at this last minute we panic and we have a delayed activity or task.

In an optimally planned task or activity, we should try to achieve as much as possible in the beginning stages, so that the task requirements are taken care of and we have sufficient time to handle any unexpected problems without delaying the task at hand.

Early start :

When we start a task or activity as early as possible, we are in a frame of mind to identify problems in the early stages and resolve them in time.

Over-confidence :

Most people have undue confidence in their ability to complete the task in time. Because of this, people become slack and initial delays are overlooked.

Late-nights :

When we tend to delay tasks, we are forced to work late for long hours to complete tasks and this might cause few efficiency-related problems which are not good.

Efficient versus hard work :

We are always taught about the merits of hard work, but blind hard work is not good. A well-planned task is always good since all tasks or activities can be broken down into smaller tasks, which helps us in completing the whole task in less amount of time.

Planning our day and all the activities that we have within your day, helps us save a lot of time. Try and delegate things wherever possible so we are able to have more quality time for ourselves and our family.

When you are told something upsetting or disappointing, do you listen to what is being said?

Do you try and listen to the perspective of the speaker and his/her feelings? Or do you wait for the chance to express your disappointment or disagree and turn the conversation back to you?

Disappointments are part of everyone’s life, be it families or friendship or any relationship.

But many a times, the thing you are disappointed about is far often less important than the message you convey by how you react.

Being respectful in the face of disappointment does not compromise your viewpoint, but it also does not compromise an atmosphere of love and concern.

Free yourself from tension – Ease the pressures of everyday living

Everyone experiences anxiety and tensions in various ways. These are our self-protective reactions, when we are confronted with anything that disturbs our well-being, happiness or our self-esteem.

An occasional bout of anxiety and tension may be unpleasant, but its quite normal and need not be a cause of concern. But we need to be aware and careful, when emotional upsets come frequently, upsets us and fails to wear off.

Below are few questions, to which your answers might help you to recognize when this happens.

• Do minor problems and small disappointments throw you into a confusion?
• Do you have a problem getting along with people, or do you sense that people find it difficult to get along with you?
• Do the small pleasures of life fail to satisfy you?
• Do you fear people or certain situations that never use to bother you?
• Do you feel inadequate, or in self-doubt?

If your answers to most of the above questions is YES, then below are few practical positive actions that will help you deal with the situations.

Talk it out : When something worries you, do not bottle it up. Confide your worry or whatever bothers you to some level-headed person you can trust. Talking things out, helps to relieve the strain, and helps you look at your problems or worry in a clearer light. And this helps you see what you can do about it.

Escape for a while : Sometimes a change of scene, or a change of atmosphere, like maybe reading a book, or watching a film, or even taking a walk in nature for a brief moment, will help you loosen up and helps you feel better. But be prepared to come back and deal with your difficulty when you are more composed, in better condition emotionally and intellectually.

Work off your Anger : If you find yourself using anger often as a general pattern of behaviour, remember that anger will generally leave you feeling foolish and sorry in the end. Anger is good at times, but you should use it at the right time, for the right reasons. Try to get yourself involved in some physical activity like gardening, or a game, or a long walk, this will help you relax and reduce the intensity of your anger.

Working the anger out of your system will leave you much better prepared to handle your problem intelligently.

Do something for others : If you are a person who constantly worries about yourself, try doing something for somebody else. This will take the steam out of your worries and give you a warm feeling of having done something satisfying.

Take one thing at a time : To people under stress and tension, even an ordinary task or workload looks so great that it’s painful to tackle or solve any part of it. When this happens, try to break up the task or work into smaller parts and tackle the most urgent tasks one thing at a time. Once you start doing this after a while you will realise that you are able to complete the whole task without much stress.

Go easy with Criticism : Some people expect too much from others, then feel let down, disappointed, frustrated, when another person doesn’t measure up. The “other person” maybe a partner, a wife, a husband or a child whom we are trying to fit into a preconceived pattern – or even trying to change them to suit ourselves. Remember that each person has the right to develop as an individual. People who constantly complain or who feel let down by the shortcomings (real or imagined) of their relatives are the ones who are disappointed about themselves. Instead of being critical about the other person’s behaviour, try to search and find some good things about the person and help them improve. By doing so, they feel happy and you will also have a sense of satisfaction and this will help you gain perspective about yourself.

Plan your recreation : Most people find it difficult to take time off. A set schedule of hours for recreation is actually beneficial for our physical and emotional well-being.

Most of the time, emotional difficulties arise out of practical problems, financial difficulties, trouble at work, problems with parents and children, or marital troubles. People do not realise that a person’s long-standing habits and attitudes may produce the conflicts. These internal and external forces tend to build up over time, making life stressful. In such cases we may need more help than we can give ourselves. Try to reach out to counsellors or life coaches who can help you deal with your problems.

The quest for peace of mind is universal. Some of us are blessed with all the internal and external circumstances that automatically assure it. We have to work to achieve it. This means having a better understanding of ourselves and others. It means working out our problems by ourselves when we can and seeking assistance / help when we need it.

NOTE : If you have any such problems and are finding it difficult to deal with it, and you feel you need some guidance please feel free to drop me an email through the contact page.

Fear is something that cripples our decision making and most of the time accounts for the wrong decisions we make, which we later regret. When fear interferes with our everyday life and work, there is nothing much that we can do, but to just wait till you get over it. If you let fear control or rule your life, it can seriously hamper your job and life and make you feel insecure most of the time. And this can also effect your relationships with others.

Learning to master your fear can help you weather negative feelings and hard situations.

Talk it out : When you are apprehensive or fearful about something it is best to consult a person who understands your situation. Someone whom you have confidence in, someone you feel free to share all your fears, even if they seem embarrassing or sensitive. Common sense tends to take a back seat when we are fearful, so getting to see the situation from a different or a new point of view will help you zero in on the problem and find a solution that works best for you given the specific situation.

Taking risks : Most people are afraid of taking risks. This is because they prefer to always feel secure. We live in a world where sometimes you can achieve things only if you take some risk.

So, we must try to have a healthy attitude towards risk taking or else it can act as a deterrent to success. You should learn to take the consequences in your stride, also remember to go by what your gut feeling says.

But always remember not to do anything in haste.

Strange places, unfamiliar company : Sometimes fear can be the result of moving from the familiar to the strange. Change may bring with it fear and insecurity. If you are being shifted to a new department or you are transferred to a new location, overcoming your apprehensions by trying to learn more about the place or the people before transition does help.

It is normal to experience fear when you are entering a new atmosphere or place, just be patient and you will adjust soon enough.

In the current COVID 19 situation around the world, people have been forced to work from home, because of health and safety reasons. Initially most of you would have found it difficult or uncomfortable, but as the days and months have gone by, we have got used to it.

Most schools had to change their mode of education to online classes, which students have also got used to now.

Managing fear is essential in an age and time period, when uncertainty is around and businesses are unstable.

Knowing how to manage your fears will help you perform better and feel better too.

If someone is giving you a feedback, make him or her feel that its okay to do so.

If you act defensive, or get angry, your adviser will decide not to give their feedback.

If you make it hard for others to give you feedback, then your colleagues or friends will avoid you.

It will help if you can think of feedback as simply data to help you improve or make changes if any.